I can never be (CLUKE FIC)
by HyperionSkum
Summary: My Cluke fic. When Clementine spends time around Luke, Luke begins to see Clem in a new light while trying to protect everyone being the Leader of the group. Carlos is gone, Rebecca/Alvin/Kennys location is unknown since they split up, it's just Luke, Clem, Nick, and Sarah left. M for a Reason! Don't like, don't read!
1. Frozen

**I do not own TWD characters. Remember, this is my first Fic. So, if there's gonna be any hate, try not to be too mean, but I do like honest feedback. I am a Cluke/Clenny/Clee shipper. So, Those are the fics I'll be writing in the future. This is short, but it's just to test the waters and see if people like it. Also, there WILL be Mature content in the future, so don't like, don't read! Luke is 27, Clem 11. Enjoy! Feel free to ask questions and please Review! it'll give me motivation to write even more on such short notice. :) **

Clems POV:

"Are we almost there, Luke? We've been walking for a long time."

Luke and I had been walking for what felt like days, but in actuality was just a day and a half. We had been out looking for supplies, but came back with very little and now the sun was setting and it was uncomfortably freezing out. We'd collected a blanket, a few medicine bottles, two gallons of water, and a flash light. Thankfully there is a river for fish though, and we'd had canned food from where we last looted, so we couldn't complain.

"Shouldn't be much longer, Clem, just past the river bank and there's the Condo." Luke assured Clem

"Do you think Sarah will be alright? I know Carlos is gone, and you did the best you could, but she has to be strong now, we can't carry her everywhere we go." Clementine added while looking up at him, still walking in the direction he'd told her to.

No ones POV:

"I honestly don't know what Sarah will do, but if she wants to pull through this, she's gonna have to. I'm sure it'll be fine." he kicked past a stick on the ground before they neared the water with not much passage way anymore, the water was higher than before and the log they had used to walk across was gone. "What the hell..?" Luke thought to himself.

"Help me look for another way across. It's gotta be colder than all hell in that water, Clem, we can't just swim through that, you'll freeze to death, and ain't invincible either." Luke said through an anxious laugh.

Clementine gave him a daring look at first but walked down the stream to look for anything she could use to get across. "I think I found something, Luke!" Clem quietly shouted. Walkers were still on this earth, she didn't dare yell. Not anymore. "Damn kid, already? You trying to make me look bad?." He was used to her beating him in things, games specially. Even for her age she put up a challenge for him. He liked that about Clem.

"Yes, here, maybe this will fit..it looks a little rickety though" Clem mentioned with her brow raised at Luke. Clem attempted lifting a heavy rock, only to fall back at first and try again, Luke hadn't noticed this as he was focused on laying the large sized branch across the river, wedging it down, testing his weight against it when he stepped on it.

"Hmm..Maybe we can put a rock beneath it to make sure it don't snap under us, it might not help much but at least we'll fall on something if we do." He pointed out while placing a hand on his hip, pacing just a little just before looking over to Clem only to hear a huge splash. "Let me guess, hotshot..you put the rock beneath the branch already." He laughed before hissing in pain, his ribs weren't healed still, it was a good pain at this point though considering he hasn't laughed in weeks. Months maybe. "Ow! Guess i'm not ready for laughing yet, huh Clem? "It's not my fault you take so long, Luke." she giggled and saw an opening to get away from him and race him back to the Condo with Sarah and Nick. She was starving, maybe Nick had something waiting for dinner. She looked back at Luke as she slowly began to cross the wood, mindful of her steps. She was hungry and trying to race Luke, but she wasn't insane. As she stepped onto the grass she grinned and stuck her tongue out with. "Guess I win, like usual. I'll see you back at the Condo, slow poke!"

He was determined to catch up to her when he began stepping along the branch carefully, he was much heavier than her. Was he sure he could do this? He nervously took a deep breath and walked another step closer across the branch, his stomach felt uneasy about this, but she wouldn't win this time. He'd get her back for all her games she'd tried to beat him in. It may have been silly, but he wanted to prove himself even in the smallest of ways. The apocalypse gets boring when you have nothing to do other than Scavenge. He was going to yell at her to distract her, but remembered their surroundings and shifted his weight, causing the branch to break and him to fall into the icey water. He wanted to make a sound as the water froze his limbs in place at first, to try and swim out of it, but his only instinct was to panic at first, but forced himself to calm down and swim back to the surface and call out for Clem. His body stifled when he made way across the river and managed to pull himself up from the water by grasping on the weeds and grass to help him onto land. "C-clem! Come back! I Need help!" Lukes vision suddenly began to get blurry while he looked for Clementine, managing to barely walk as is, he dropped back unconscious.


	2. No big deal

**This isn't a Cheerful/loving/happy Fic, this is meant to be rather emotional and there WILL be Rated M stuff going on later on, this is a graphic fic in every corner. So, if that's not your style, don't read! Everyone keeps doing the same sort of Cluke Fics, SO, I thought I would give it a go! Peace, Leave reviews!**

"Luke! Wake up, please!" there was a strong ringing in my ears when I could hear Clem calling out for me, I managed to squint my eyes open and find Clem leaning over me, she looked worried sick. What happened..? I thought to myself. Shit. The River, I remember now. "Shhh, I'm alright Clem, Just freezing like all hell. What happened?" pushing myself up on my elbows I manage to lean up and get on my feet, even though the heaviness of my wet clothes clung to my skin, giving me a shiver I chose to ignore.. The look in her eyes was one I hadn't seen in a long time, one I hoped I'd never see again. She pursed her lips and squeezed her arms around my neck, nearly making me fall back as I choked out a cough. "I thought you left me, Luke. I'm so happy you're okay. I brought you here, kind of..Nick brought you back here, you were too heavy for me to carry you." I touched her face with my hand, god she was beautiful, pure and beautiful. I shook my head in disgust almost when I leaned against the counter for support, looking around the room for Nick and Sarah.

No ones POV:

"You were freezing when I found you, I feel so bad for leaving you. I promise I won't do that again." Clem said through tears. "I'm not going anywhere, Clemmy clu, you can count on that, I just lost my footing, that's all. I'll be more careful next time." Luke breathed and pulled her close into his arms with a nudge against her face with his thumb. "Where is everyone anyways?"

"you were unconscious for hours, it's late, Nick told me to wake him when you were up and okay, but he looked too peaceful. And he snores...really Loud." Clementine grabbing the hem of Lukes shirt, his eyes widening as he opened his mouth to protest, quickly growing wary about this. "W-what are you doin' Clem?" he whispered. "You're still in your wet clothes, I have to take them off, Christa told me I had to when I was cold and soaking wet when inside. Here." the moment he felt her small hands against his chest his eyes narrowed, this felt strange, looked strange. What if Nick came in and saw them? His hands went to grab hers but she gave him a look that was reassuring. How she did that to him, he didn't quite catch that about her. She made everything seem so simple. "Okay, that should do it. Maybe Nick has something you can wear in his rucksack. Um, hang on." Luke just watched Clem walk around the place, her small frame looking for something in a hurry. Within that time span, he managed to unbuckle his jeans and unzip his pants, hiding behind the matted sofa that had patches ripped off. Not in a very good condition, but who cares these days? His body was shaking, his temperature must have been pretty low because he felt like his insides were about to shrivel up themselves. "Clem, you find anythin'? I'm freezing here!" He asked. "Yes, I hope you like Santa." She chuckled and ran nearby the Sofa. "Whoa, Clem, Shut your eyes! Please?" His face was redder than apple as his blush crawled across his face. He was practically nude. But for some reason still had his socks on. He'd never felt this shy about her seeing him before, this was new. Before she was forced to get undressed in front of him, and vice versa. But never full on nude like he is now. "Why? Are you naked? It's just body parts! I know what you have, Luke. I accidentally saw Nicks before. No big deal." She added "What do you mean you saw Nicks?!" He blurted aloud, almost waking Nick and Sarah.


	3. That's new

**So! Being I almost have 200 views since last night on my very first fic It's motivated me to write another chapter so soon. I like keeping people interested so, there will be a lot going on, but for now it'll be calm. I hope you're all liking where it's going! Btw, a new character will be coming back too! Review/Enjoy! PEACE! :)**

"And how exactly..Did this happen?" He looked at her questionably with his brow above the other "It was dark! I didn't get a good look at it. It was when we were back at the Cabin, when you guys locked me in the Shed and I escaped. I saw him near a tree.." She said shamefully. When Clem leaned over to pick up his wet clothes, she'd caught a glimpse of his lower half naked, swallowing what felt like a lump in her throat. Hoping he hadn't seen where her eyes were. "So that's what Lukes thing looks like..?" her mind tried to block out what she'd just seen but saw his hands quickly covered his long member when his eyes followed hers as he turned to face her. She could see him blushing when he rubbed the back of his neck with his other hand, eyes darting around the place before he began to speak, but Clem couldn't hear what he was saying over the pounding of her heart, it felt stronger and stronger with her lips parted from the view she had on the definition of the rest of his body.

Clems heart told her to look away, but her mind couldn't resist it. She'd always cared about this man, she hadn't ever seen anyone naked except Sarah. She'd had talks with Christa and her mother at points about sex and private parts. But what she'd seen was more than she expected. His chest stood out above everything, he wasn't too slim nor was he buff, but his body was lean and she could tell whatever he did was paying off. Carefully she tilted her head up as if she were looking at the ceiling of the condo her eyes still on him making sure not to let his eyes match hers when her breathing got heavier, her mind fogged, whatever he was saying were inaudible words. When her eyes met the happy trail line going down past his navel..- "Clem! You alright, kid?"

He knew she was looking at him now. He saw her looking at him the whole time but chose not to say anything. She tore her eyes away from his body, tossing the clothes at his chest while he leaned back in surprise and picked up the clothes he was given "Here, try this!" she answered as she broke her silence with a smile, the look on her face told him she wanted something. She wasn't even sure herself. But the way he looked right now, it gave her weird feelings inside, ones she couldn't understand.

Lukes face scrunched up at the sight of the small Santa and Reindeer on the pajamas. "You gotta be kiddin' me" he sighed to himself, but he couldn't say much, it's not the worst thing he's had to wear, but he'd rather not be reminded either. Luke stared at her and slipped on the pajama bottoms quickly, he couldn't stop starring at her now, Clementine was growing differently all the time, she didn't act her age for sure. She took care of more problems than he did, that's for damn sure he reminded himself as he crouched down to hide himself from her view. Luke had been shaking for what felt like minutes now, he was cold, the fire was lit but his body trembled and the goose bumps on his arms told him to sit close to the heat.

The ugly pajamas he was wearing were a perfect fit, and the fabric was comfortable but Luke wouldn't choose this for himself to wear any day if he had a choice at least. "Drink this," she commanded with that stare of hers holding a glass of water, he hated when he looked at him like that, they'd been close for a while now and she was the only one he'd take commands from, light ones at least. "Thanks, Clem. You're always looking out for me, I don't know what I would do without you. How many times have you saved my life.." Clementine kneeled down in front of him closely as she held the cup to his lips, she liked the way he would look at her sometimes. It made her feel sat the cup down next to them. "Can you help me move the couch closer to the fireplace?" she teased hunched over in a mocking way. "Or are you too old and dusty?" she ran behind the couch to begin pushing it closer near the fire with all her strength and to her surprise it wasn't as heavy as she'd thought as it slid against the rug and cozy fireplace. "I guess you don't need my help anymore, do ya'?" he sighed, but not in an unhappy manner, more amused than anything. Clementine always took care of him, Carlos would always try to keep Clem away from Luke when he was around, and never really understood why Carlos didn't like Luke being around Clem, Clem looked up to him, he protected her like she protected him. Like her partner in crime.


	4. Baby steps

**I RE-DID THIS CHAPTER, I WAS UNSATISFIED WITH IT. (TOO RUSHED FOR ME)**  
**Hope you enjoy. If not, I WILL! I actually enjoy writing this, but I like the motivation that comments bring. Let me know how I'm doing. Also I made a bit of fan art of Clem &amp; Lee, I'll be updating soon on the next chapter, Next Luke. :)**

"What were your parents like, Clem?

Y'know what's sad? I don't remember my moms face anymore, but I still remember the smell of her cookin'. She used to cook all the time, that was her thing. She made a damn good pie, hah, What I'd give for one of em' now." Luke flared his nostrils with a short laugh and cheesy smirk to change the tone in such a dark night.

"And well, my dad, he wasn't worth talking about, I never really knew him to be honest with ya'." Luke held his tongue a moment to touch his hand to his forehead in silence, the sound of wood crackling from the fireplace.

Clems small voice forced his eyes open to look over from his hands. Their bodies warm from the fire while Luke lay along the couch, Clem sat near his legs, wrapped in a blanket.

"My parents..They wouldn't want me now.. all that I've done, I've done too much now to go back and be the same little girl." She lowered her head as her hands dropped to her lap, warm tears kissing her cheeks. Swiftly Luke's hand began to rub her back, while she sobbed quietly, the way he held her was unlike any touch she'd ever felt. It gave her a warm sensation in the pit of her stomach that made her think twice through her tears about what made her cry to begin with.

"Why would you go and say something like that? Of course they loved you, I don't see how anyone couldn't love you."  
He stifled at the words for a second, waiting for a sudden reaction, and when he didn't get one immediately he rubbed the back of his neck before making eye contact again with Clem while she sat in his lap, The way she looked up at him with her eyes halfly open from the crying made him bite his lip and focus on what he was really trying to say.

"What I'm saying is Clem, We're gonna have to get used to this way of living for a while. I mean, you know that better than most people I've been around. You mean a lot to us, clem, I don't want you anywhere else. That's not selfish of me, is it?" Luke knew in the way she acted towards him that she'd grown to have a crush on him. Every time Luke praised her, she looked so pleased to even be around him, the way she watched his mouth when he would talk, how excited she'd get just to come and find him after scavenging, that's when he really knew with the way her eyes lit up,

"No, It's not selfish. Even with everything that's happened, I would miss you all too much, I know I have to be strong for all of us. No matter what happens." Clementine's lips pursed before she continued.

"Remember that one day with Jane, on the observation deck? You said you wanted to feel human for just a little while. I'd give anything to feel normal again, I wanna see something and just laugh, it seems like only on nights like this I can do that because everything else just is too much to take in that moment."  
Clems eyes gleamed faintly at this point, and when she looked back at luke, his eyes met hers with a new view, it wasn't like before, his eyes had changed, "Maybe It was because he was tired." she thought, but she'd seen men look like that before with men, she knew all too well, but continued to play in denial.

She shortly grew serious as she looked to her left to see him watching her which made her feel funny, she shifted posture to lie on her back, opposite of him on the couch casually, her legs slightly apart while her knees slid up to her stomach Luke saw her in her "Pajamas" plenty, but he hadn't ever been as focused on it as he were now which made him worry. Clem watched the ceiling, the interior needed improvement by the looks of it. Water dripping into her eye from the sudden rain that neither of them heard. Her petite frame revealing itself in her purple panties and blue t-shirt that just didn't cover enough while she rubbed at the irritated eye.

"I know how you feel, Clem. But it just ain't right." He gulped and tried not to stare at her on her back carelessly exposing more of her stomach and slim figure. Everything seemed to be moving slower now to Luke, considering. The smallest of movements from her were adding to his arousal, it wasn't something he was forcibly doing, it was just hard not to stare. The way Luke felt wasn't sexual, it was admiration, respect, mutual mature feelings, but he knew she wasn't even aware of hers. Which made everything he'd thought of sink him down further into a sea of wrong.

"What isn't right? You don't want to kiss me. Do you? It's because I'm not pretty enough, huh?" Her stare forcibly made him answer with a short stutter while she pulled down her shirt to cover her body in embarrassment now that she saw the trail where his eyes laid.

"W-what? You can't ask me that and expect me to answer, Clem." His fingers pulled at the ripped part of his pajama pants, his teeth bit his lower lip to prevent his words from passing through to meet her fragile expression.

"Clem.." he sighed.

"It's not that Clem, you're beautiful, the boys would be all over you if they had the chance."

"I guess that's an upside of being stuck in this." He snorted while slipping off his shirt from the heat only to see her shortly with her furrowed brows that was a combination of confusion and sadness, he hated seeing her make that face. It's what he feared most with Clem, upsetting or hurting her.

Without too much thought of it, Luke gave her a look of amenity and crawled over her very delicately, testing his own waters. To this he folded his hand over her face before unthinkingly pressing his lips against hers, feeling her shake against his body, his hands smoothly rubbed her abdomen to calm her down and assure her it was just a kiss.  
He knew she'd never kissed anyone before. If she wanted to kiss anybody, he felt like it should happened with someone who would respect her at least.

Her lips were softer, warmer, unlike any other girl he'd kissed, it was almost like he could feel the experience behind them when he kissed other girls. Kissing Clementine felt unworldly, it felt wrong, shameful, but his mind wouldn't allow himself to clearly think, he'd admired her ever since he'd met her, the bond they shared wasn't exactly natural, not in his head at least. But he cared for Clem deeply, This was the first time in his life he'd ever loved someone he couldn't.


	5. This ain't right

_SO, given I haven't gotten to go over all the chapters I have saved up for you guys, I thought i'd do so tonight, I thought I'd be getting more feedback for this, so it hasn't exactly given me too much motivation to continue, although I still want to, even if I don't post them. But hopefully people enjoy, I'll be posting a new chapter soon, and I'll see where it goes with encouragement. :) Enjoy_

Luke attempted to put distance between her and himself but felt a wave of strength push him back instead. Clem kneeled over him, taking notice to his blushing face and sudden startled breathing while she shifted on his lap to feel external heat from his groin warming her up to return the kiss he'd given to her.

She brought his hands to her small breasts, afraid almost of what he'd do, but didn't put too much thought into it given how the kiss sent electricity throughout her body. She felt like she were going to melt against his chest. But she couldn't stop, Clem wanted him with her, She'd hate to disappoint him, because of his given history. And being with her would only be a joke to him she thought. "C-Clem, what are you doin'?!" Luke's was shocked by his sudden lack of control, and damn was she strong for her stature and age.

"Please, don't be mad at me, Luke. I want you to kiss me again." Clem whined against his ear, then felt his body shaking between her thighs while his eyes held onto hers a moment. His callused hands squeezing onto her arm tightly as to keep her apart from him, because if she were to get any closer, he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

He needed Clem, but he'd never allow himself to do anything to hurt her. She was just a little girl, and all he wanted to do was force himself away. His hands pushed against her chest as to almost shove her, but she wouldn't quit. It's almost like she knew he wanted her, and forced herself back on him, more strongly this time while pinning his hands by his sides and under her girth.

"I.- I just can't Clem, This is so fucked up, and I'm sorry, But I won't hurt you like that. You don't really know what you're looking at, you're just feeling lonely, clem. That's all this is. You don't want me, and I won't hurt you. You just need some rest, you're not thinking clearly, cloo."

"Luke, I know what I want, okay? So stop treating me like some child you're trying to protect when you know I can protect myself. I can take it. I'm not just some kid you can kiss and be done with." Clem exclaimed with a huff, her face met his and his expression seemed to change into a more serious one, one she hadn't seen, ever in the time she'd known him.

He let out a sigh in frustration and pushed her harder back before unknowingly assisting her back on him by pulling and squeezing his hands on her hips tightly with a breathy moan while his hands rubbed along her back across her slightly torn t-shirt.

"Clem, this ain't right, why are you doin' this to me..? You're a little girl, and I'm a grown man! You have to stop, I don't trust myself with you..Not like this." he groaned through his teeth almost shamefully and scrunched his eyes shut in disgust. He wanted to hurt himself for even touching her, holding her, but he couldn't even muster himself to force her with all his strength to leave. How could he tell her that he loved her, but be the good guy in all of this, and not be the man he never wanted to be.


End file.
